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Bailey is Married!

June 19, 2012 in Christian Living, The Kitchen Table with 7 Comments

I had the privilege of performing the wedding ceremony for my eldest daughter this past weekend.

While Bailey will always be our “baby”, things are now different. She is now under the care of another man, her husband – Michael.

As a father, this brings lots of mixed emotions.

I have concern. Can Michael possibly love Bailey as much as Stacy and I have loved Bailey? Can Michael possibly care for Bailey as much as Stacy and I have cared for Bailey? Can Michael possibly meet the needs of Bailey as much as Stacy and I have been able to meet her needs?

I have sorrow – not in Bailey’s getting married, but in the passage of time. Bailey and Michael got married at a camp where they both met and both attended and worked. I could look out the window of the chapel and see Bailey as a young 7 year old girl running around with her pig tails. Now, she was dressed in a beautiful white gown, preparing to move onto her next stage of life. Where have those years gone? Why did she grow up so fast? She was just a little girl sitting on my lap, now she is married. Amazing. If the next 22 years go by as fast as these past 22 … ugh …

I have pride. Bailey has turned into a beautiful young woman – beautiful both inside and out. I am proud of the woman she has become. She is very public about her faith and seeks to live a life that is honoring to God.

I have joy. Michael is a great guy. When he asked me if he could ask Bailey to marry him, I shared that Stacy and I really had two desires in the future spouse for our children. One is that they love Jesus. This is obvious in Michael’s life. He loves Jesus in both word and in deed. The second is that they love our child. We also see this in the way he interacts with Bailey. He truly loves her. So, we have joy that Michael is now part of our family and that he and Bailey are together. We are truly blessed and thankful. I could not imagine the pain and heartache if we did not approve of the man she were marrying!

The wedding ceremony was very emotional. I was not sure going into it how emotional it would be. I knew I was in trouble when I walked to the back of the church just prior to the wedding party processing in. Our youngest daughter, Charlsea (one of the maids of honor – with her sister Shelby) came up to me and said, “Dad, are you going to cry?” I couldn’t even speak to answer her. Words just wouldn’t come – just tears. In fact, I am getting teary right now just reliving this. Joy, sorrow, happiness, sadness – the whole gamut of the emotional spectrum.

Now their life as husband and wife begins. It will be fun to see them grow as a couple. They will have times of joy and times of heartache.

I would be interested in hearing from others who have had children get married. What emotions did you experience?

Here are a couple photos for you to enjoy:

SCORRE – A Great Four Days!

May 11, 2012 in The Kitchen Table with 4 Comments

I attended the SCORRE conference last week in Rome, Georgia (near Atlanta). It was a fantastic conference, perhaps the best conference I have attended.

The focus of the conference is to teach people to be better communicators, to “prepare with focus, deliver with clarity and speak with power”.

As I reflect on my four days away, I have three highlights that anyone who attends the SCORRE conference will go home with.

Highlight 1 – The Place

Our conference was held at the WinShape Retreat Center near Berry College. The facilities were amazing! The staff was extremely helpful and courteous! The food was fantastic! If you ever get a chance to visit, do it! The next SCORRE conference will be held in Vail, Colorado. I hear that’s a pretty nice place as well!

Highlight 2 – The Process

The SCORRE method brings structure. The focus of the conference is learning this method to help enhance communication to groups of any size. This method can also be used in writing and in business. I like structure and found that this system really makes sense.

While the SCORRE system focuses on organizing the content of the message, a lot of time was also given to delivery. Gestures, eye contact, body movement, humor, etc… was also discussed. Each evening, we broke into small groups of 8. In these groups, we each gave a 5-minute presentation. Following the presentations, we shared what we felt “worked” and areas we felt could see some improvement.

Highlight 3 – The People

I mentioned the staff of the WinShape Retreat Center. They were exemplary. So was the staff from Ken Davis’ team. So were the coaches who led each small group. So were the people in my small group. So was everyone I came in contact with. Every place you turned, you found a friendly face and someone who legitimately cared about taking some time to get to know you. People really enjoyed hanging out and sharing life together. I know many of these people I will never see again, but I have a list of names of people that I can contact when I need encouragement – especially in continuing to develop my communication skills.

All in all, it was a great four days. It is certainly a conference that I will return to in the years ahead. If you are interested in honing your communication skills, it is a conference I highly recommend.

What has been the best conference you have attended? What made it good?

Four ways to be a lifelong learner

April 9, 2012 in The Kitchen Table with 2 Comments

Our student ministries pastor completed a five-week sabbatical this past month. Our church’s sabbatical policy has three goals – rest, spiritual renewal and a learning component.

I realize that most people do not have the luxury of a sabbatical policy – and even if you do, those opportunities only present themselves every seven years or so. So, my challenge for all of us – me included – is how do you build these characteristics into your life when you aren’t on sabbatical? How do you work on spiritual renewal or rest or learning? I wrote on rest and renewal last month. Today, I want to touch on learning. How can you continue to learn in the day-to-day of life?

  • Read – I think one of the best (and easiest) ways to continue to learn is through reading. Read books on whatever topic it is you want to learn. It seems I constantly am working through 3 or 4 books. If you are not reading, you are falling behind.
  • Learn from others – Speak to other people who are excelling in whatever area it is that you want to learn. Want to be a better teacher? Speak to a teacher that you respect. Want to preach better? Speak to a good preacher. The internet has made this much easier. Find a blog that relates to what you want to learn and interact with the author.
  • Online – The options here are almost limitless – youtube, TED talks, blogs, niche sites, Pinterest, etc… Google your topic and explore! It is amazing how much information is available! I have an online mentor in regards to leadership stuff – Michael Hyatt – and he doesn’t even know me (although I have met him once). It is truly amazing what you can learn that is just a click away!
  • Conferences/Seminars – I make it a goal to attend at least one conference per year. Just this week, I will be attending a conference that focuses on using coaching for ministry. This is in Des Moines and is very inexpensive. I want to work on improving my public speaking skills, so I will be attending a conference later this spring that will help in this regard. I am also considering attending Toastmasters training. This is done over the lunch hour, so it won’t take me away from work for long.

What am I missing here? How else have you continued to intentionally learn?

Reading – a thing of the past?

April 4, 2012 in The Kitchen Table with 6 Comments

A survey by The Jenkins Group, an independent publishing services firm, has shown that millions of Americans never read another book after leaving school. 

Check out the stats:

33% of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives.

42% of college graduates never read another book after college.

80% of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year.

70% of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.

57% of new books are not read to completion.

I find these statistics incredibly troubling and a little shocking. 

My goal is to read 24 books a year. I would like to work to move that to a book a week. Not sure if I can do that, but I want to move that direction. I would also like to write a book someday. I wonder what the point is if no one will read it!

What about you? Do you read? If so, how much, if not, why?

Sabbatical – Rest

March 19, 2012 in Christian Living, Health, The Kitchen Table with 0 Comments

I am blessed to be serving a church that has a Sabbatical Policy. Our policy is that after six years of service a pastor has to take at least five weeks off as a Sabbatical. The pastor is eligible for another Sabbatical every seven years. The purpose of the Sabbatical is three-fold: rest, spiritual renewal and a ministry focus (a specific project, developing a skill, learning something new, etc…).

Our Student Ministries pastor, Dikran (D), just got back from his Sabbatical. It is customary here that one’s office gets decorated to commemorate the return to work – as you can see from the picture, it involved lots of balloons and wrapping paper.

I am a year away from being eligible for my second Sabbatical. My first was very beneficial and I am just now starting to give some thought to what the next one could look like.

This has caused me to ponder. First, I think it would be awesome if each profession had a Sabbatical Policy in place for their employees. Some professions do. Teachers and school workers really get a yearly Sabbatical each summer – a time to renew and refresh for the next year of teaching. I certainly realize that most jobs do not allow for a Sabbatical time, but it would be nice if they did.

Also, if the purposes of a Sabbatical policy are important (rest, spiritual renewal and a specific focus), what are some ways we can incorporate those items into our lives on a more regular basis?

Rest

This is the one item that D mentioned to me as being the most surprising during his Sabbatical, how much rest he needed. D said it was during his time away that he realized how physically tired he was.

So, how can each of us ensure we are getting the rest we need?

Michael Hyatt wrote a helpful blogpost that discusses ways to increase one’s energy level. It is certainly worth the read.

Other than sleeping more, eating in a healthy manner, proper exercise, what are some ways to really rest?

A few ideas come to mind.

1. Perhaps once a month you should devote an entire day to rest. Sleep in as long as you can. Take a nap or two or three. Stay in your pajamas all day and lay down whenever you get a chance. Seek to catch up on rest on this day.

2. Take a vacation that is not focused on doing things and going places. Go someplace to just relax. We have been blessed to vacation at a lake in Minnesota a few times and to the Atlantic Ocean. Both locations, the biggest concern was if the lawn chair would leave lines on your legs or if the ropes from the hammock would actually hold your body weight. I am sure Disney is great. Golfing is a blast. Going to museums, ball games and sight-seeing are fun. I challenge to you take a vacation to do nothing except chill.

3. Get in a daily nap. I love naps. Unfortunately, they only tend to happen on Sundays as who has time during the week? I have read about the benefits of a daily 20-minute “power nap”. I will have to try this out!

4. Get adequate sleep. Most people stay up too late and get up too early. We have all heard people brag by saying that they only need 4 hours of sleep a night. Hogwash! They may be able to get by with this for a season, but not long-term. Most things I have read say a person needs 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night. How much sleep do you get each night?

What am I missing here? What can you do to ensure you are getting the rest you need?

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