Archive - May, 2012

Lessons from Sam – Life is complex

May 21, 2012 in Christian Living, Lessons from Sam with 9 Comments

We have had an incredibly interesting weekend – a weekend of intense joy and yet with times of sorrow. 

Sam graduated from high school this weekend. It is weird for me to even type this, because truly, Sam did not graduate from high school. Sam will never “graduate” from high school in regards to having a high school education. In fact, our plans are for Sam to return to high school in the fall and attend the next two years.

We struggled with a couple things in regards to graduation. The first was, do we have a graduation open house for Sam? The second was, do we have Sam participate in the graduation service? You see, when you have a child (now young adult) with special needs, very few decisions are easy and straight forward. It seems we always have to think through everything. “What if this happens?” “What about that?” “What if he does this?” It is complex.

In regards to an open house, we knew people would attend in support of us, but we had no idea how Sam would behave. Generally, Sam really dislikes people coming up to him and trying to interact with him. Granted there are some people who he loves interacting with, but as a general rule, he does not like to be messed with, so we had visions of having an open house with Sam absolutely refusing to greet anyone. What if Sam is in a bad mood?

We did decide on the open house and we were amazed at how well Sam handled it all. He was amazing! Sam sat in a chair by the guest book and greeted EVERY single person who came. He shook their hand or gave them a hug. He even posed for a picture with every person. It was truly a great experience – a gift to our whole family!

The graduation ceremony went well also. There were a couple hitches for Sam, but all in all, it was a good experience. It was a blessing to see Sam walking into the gym with his peers. These are things we do not see very often – him being one with his peers. That to me was the emotional time – the band playing “Pomp and Circumstance”, the senior class walking in – with Sam being part of the class. My eyes filled with tears as I looked on in joy.

Having a child with special needs is hard, certainly much harder than I would have ever imagined. Sometimes I think the mental challenges are even more difficult than the physical ones (and we have had some physical challenges!). Planning for different scenarios, thinking about the “what do we do if Sam does this…”, looking at Sam with his peers and realizing he will never be like them – not even close, looking towards the future that is incredibly unclear, etc…

Having a child with special needs has also brought joy, more joy than I would have ever imagined. This past weekend we had some moments of that great joy, times when Sam acted like his peers.

I thank God for bringing Sam into our lives. He has been a tremendous blessing

I would encourage you that if you know a family with a child with special needs that you encourage them and help them any way you can. It is a tough road. Interact with the family, especially with the one with special needs. Be a listening ear. Call and see how things are going. Encourage, encourage, encourage. Celebrate the joys with them. Be persistent.

Who can you encourage today? What are you celebrating?

SCORRE – A Great Four Days!

May 11, 2012 in The Kitchen Table with 4 Comments

I attended the SCORRE conference last week in Rome, Georgia (near Atlanta). It was a fantastic conference, perhaps the best conference I have attended.

The focus of the conference is to teach people to be better communicators, to “prepare with focus, deliver with clarity and speak with power”.

As I reflect on my four days away, I have three highlights that anyone who attends the SCORRE conference will go home with.

Highlight 1 – The Place

Our conference was held at the WinShape Retreat Center near Berry College. The facilities were amazing! The staff was extremely helpful and courteous! The food was fantastic! If you ever get a chance to visit, do it! The next SCORRE conference will be held in Vail, Colorado. I hear that’s a pretty nice place as well!

Highlight 2 – The Process

The SCORRE method brings structure. The focus of the conference is learning this method to help enhance communication to groups of any size. This method can also be used in writing and in business. I like structure and found that this system really makes sense.

While the SCORRE system focuses on organizing the content of the message, a lot of time was also given to delivery. Gestures, eye contact, body movement, humor, etc… was also discussed. Each evening, we broke into small groups of 8. In these groups, we each gave a 5-minute presentation. Following the presentations, we shared what we felt “worked” and areas we felt could see some improvement.

Highlight 3 – The People

I mentioned the staff of the WinShape Retreat Center. They were exemplary. So was the staff from Ken Davis’ team. So were the coaches who led each small group. So were the people in my small group. So was everyone I came in contact with. Every place you turned, you found a friendly face and someone who legitimately cared about taking some time to get to know you. People really enjoyed hanging out and sharing life together. I know many of these people I will never see again, but I have a list of names of people that I can contact when I need encouragement – especially in continuing to develop my communication skills.

All in all, it was a great four days. It is certainly a conference that I will return to in the years ahead. If you are interested in honing your communication skills, it is a conference I highly recommend.

What has been the best conference you have attended? What made it good?

“Get Motivated!”

May 9, 2012 in Goals with 1 Comment

I attended the “Get Motivated!” seminar in Des Moines yesterday. I want to share some of my favorite quotes from the day:

  • “‘Embrace the Grind’ – Importance of preparation” – Kirk Ferentz
  • “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can” – John Wooden, shared by Kirk Ferentz
  • “Don’t forget to have a sense of humor.” – Dan Rather
  • “99% of all of our DNA is the same. It is in the 1% that is different where your greatness lies.” – Keith Craft
  • “What you want in life will determine what you do in life. Decide what you want.” – Keith Craft
  • “Get up!” and “Do it!” – Bill Cosby
  • “God didn’t create one person in the universe who is better than you.” – James Smith
  • “It is not where you have been, it is where you are going.” – James Smith
  • “If you fail to prepare, prepare to fail.” – Joe Montana
  • “When opportunity presents itself, you must be ready for it.” – Fred Hoiberg
  • “When adversity strikes, make sure you handle it the right way.” – Fred Hoiberg

Use it or lose it

May 8, 2012 in Goals, Health with 2 Comments

I went jogging today for the first time in at least a month – and probably the 4th or 5th time since mid-October. It really sucked. 

 

I used the Jeff Galloway method where you jog/walk in intervals. I jogged 2 minutes and then walked one minute. I did 10 intervals for a total of 30 minutes. It may not sound very difficult, but I really struggled.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised it was hard, it’s not like I am the picture of health and fitness. But it is a little surprising – or more accurately, depressing how fast things can decline. You see, I did a half marathon just six months ago. In October I jogged 13 miles and today I certainly could not even do a mile if I didn’t work in walking. Ugh …

There are a couple lessons here for anyone who desires to be at least a little healthy and have some cardiovascular fitness. In fact these are lessons for anyone who wants to keep a skill or retain some knowledge.

The first lesson is to continue on. It is a lot easier to maintain than it is to regain physical conditioning. I imagine if I had jogged 2-3 times a week, I could have continued to be able to run 3-5 miles. It will take me several weeks to get to that point now. Likewise if you want to retain something you have learned, you need to continue to do something with it, if you learned a language in college and then do nothing with it for years, in all likelihood, you will forget all you have learned.

The second lesson is to look forward. As you look ahead, continue to remind yourself of the impact your retaining that skill or knowledge will have long-term. How can that skill benefit you five years from now? How could better health and fitness make enhance your life looking ahead 10 years?

What skill have you lost through inactivity over the past 10-20 years?