Archive - April, 2012

The danger of ignoring things

April 28, 2012 in Christian Living, Goals, Health with 0 Comments

The saying goes, “Ignorance is bliss!” Nothing could be further from the truth.

I can tend to have the personality that if I ignore something, it will go away – never to bother me again!

How many of you are like that?

The issues that can be ignored are endless, health, relationships, financial, workplace, church … it could go on and on.

I know of some people who are struggling with their marriage, but they absolutely refuse to address the issues – hoping things will just get better. I know of some others who are struggling in raising their children (these children are of any age) and they do nothing to address the situation. I know of others who have health issues and fail to address their situation hoping that things will “just get better”.

I have fallen into that last area. I have some health issues I have ignored the past several months. I went to the doctor this past week and found out that ignoring things has not helped. In fact, ignoring things NEVER helps!

So, what can a person do to fight this tendency to ignore things?

  • Admit it! First we must admit there is an issue. This is obvious, but necessary.
  • Seek accountability. Find someone to help hold you accountable for movement. I have another appointment with my doctor in four weeks and progress will need to be made by then. Find someone and ask for this!
  • Have daily reminders! In regards to my health, there are daily things I need to do. What can you do to work on your financial situation daily? How can you keep that in the forefront? Perhaps a note on your mirror or at your desk at work.
  • Turn it over to God. When you are at the end of your rope and you don’t know what to do, turn it over to God. “Trying harder” doesn’t work. Rely on the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesus says in Matthew 11, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

The doctor warned me in regards to ignoring my health issues. There may come a point of “no return” when things can’t get better. This is the same for any issue you choose to ignore. You may get to that point of “no return”, when it is too late to make changes. Do something before it gets to that point!

What are you ignoring right now? What are your first couple steps you need to take to address that issue?

Why should I plan ahead?

April 25, 2012 in Christian Living, Goals with 0 Comments

My daughter is getting married seven weeks from this coming Saturday.

A lot of time, effort – and money – has gone in to planning this special day. A lot of time has also gone into their planning their future life together.

This has happened in two ways. One, through their sharing their hopes and dreams with each other – what they want, what they expect – both of themselves and of each other. They have addressed items like the size of bed they will have, where they will live, registering for wedding gifts, etc… looking ahead to some of the basics of life. The other thing they have done to prepare help prepare themselves for this “next season” is through having pre-marital counseling.

Why do couples have pre-marital counseling? The goal is to help prepare a couple for marriage – to help them build a strong foundation for their relationship. I think this is a great thing – and is thankfully very widely accepted and practiced. People know that getting married will cause some major changes, so they prepare ahead of time for those changes knowing that their preparation will make things a little easier. That doesn’t mean situations won’t come up that Michael and Bailey will have conflict over and have to work through. It means hopefully they will have some tools in their “relational tool kits” to deal with those issues in a healthy manner.

This has caused me to wonder. Changes in life happen all the time (not just when we get married). Why don’t we do a better job preparing for those changes? The changes I am thinking about include the following: having children, raising children, having children leave your home, empty nest, job changes, retirement (or as one friend says, “redirection”, anticipating the loss of grandparents or parents, health issues, etc…). As a general rule, I don’t think we prepare ourselves very well for our “next season” – physically, spiritually or emotionally.

We are approaching graduation season. Kids will graduate and head off to college or work next fall. This affects parents in many different ways. Some are excited and happy to see them go, while others are deeply despondent and depressed. This transition is not a surprise – and is in fact what we want for our children, so how could parents better prepare for this? What about if this is the last child and the “empty nest” stage will be kicking in?

What about other issues, like handling the emotional, spiritual and physical needs for retirement? How can someone prepare themselves for this?

I think no matter what your “next season” is, we can do some things to get ready for those transitions:

1. Pray about it. Seek God’s counsel. Ask for the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

2. Speak with people who have gone through these stages before you. What has been helpful? What hasn’t? Seek advice.

3. Find resources – books, websites, magazines, blogs, etc… there are lots of things available at your fingertips or at your local library.

4. Start planning well in advance of the event. The time to start planning for the empty nest or for retirement is not the day it happens. In some cases, start planning years ahead of time.

5. Seek help. Find someone to help you process things, someone to help you work through the issues. A coach can certainly help in this regard. I would be more than willing to help you.

What else comes to mind?

What is your “next season”? What’s next?

I need a friend … we all do!

April 24, 2012 in Christian Living with 1 Comment

I have been doing some thinking about friends this week.

Facebook has radically changed the way we look at friends. I read where the average Facebook user has around 200 friends (I am way above average with 854 as of today!). I am certain that everyone acknowledges that just because you are someone’s friend on Facebook, that doesn’t necessarily make you friends in life.

The Pew Research Center has done research on friends. They say that the average person can maintain a friendship with 100 individuals. They also say that today, most people have 2 close friends – people with whom they can discuss important matters. For simplicity sake, let’s not count our spouse here or family members … Do you have two people in your life you would consider close friends? People you are willing to share your life with, your struggles, your celebrations, your thoughts? People you can “be yourself” with? People you call even when you don’t have anything to talk about?

As you look at the life of Jesus, he had his 12 disciples, but really just three that would fall into this category – Peter, James and John.

I am certain that some of you reading this would think, “I have way more than 2.” And if that is true, that is awesome. I am afraid some would also think, “Not only do I not have 2, I can’t think of even 1.” I am also guessing – and this might be a stereotype – that the female gender has more close friends than their male counterparts.

In looking at my own life, I have lots of good friends – and for that I am thankful. Friends I know who would drop anything to come to my assistance (and I theirs) if asked. With that being said, I don’t know that I can come up with two “close friends” as described above.

If something really bad happened to me – a death in my family or some other traumatic event – I don’t know who I would call. Likewise, if something great happened – a dream job opportunity or great news of some sort – I don’t know who I would call with this either.

I have had some of these relationships in the past, but they have changed over time – through distance, through some conflict, through changes in me and/or in them.

I have desired these type of relationships – for Stacy and I as a couple and individually. I have always wanted friends who if I needed something, I could go into their house and get what I needed even if they were gone – and they would do the same with us. We have had some of these relationships for a season, but they have not lasted.

Again, I am thankful for the friends I do have.

Where are you at in regards to friends? I am reminded of the saying, “to have a friend, be a friend”. I imagine it is the same for close friends.

 

Let me ask you three questions

April 16, 2012 in Christian Living, Goals with 0 Comments

Where are you at? Where do you want to go? How do you get there? These are powerful questions.

These questions are pertinent for individuals, groups, organizations, teams, etc…

These questions can be used for any time period – daily, monthly, yearly, etc…

They can also be used for any stage of life.

I love these questions. They give structure and help keep the things that are most important, the most important.

How has God made you? Where is God leading you? What do you need to do to get there?

I would love to help you process through these questions. I won’t tell you the answers, but I will help you through the process. I will encourage you and ask you lots of questions!

How has God made you? What are your gifts, abilities, passions? Where do you want to go? What is God calling you towards? How can you get there?

How to make God smile

April 11, 2012 in Christian Living with 1 Comment

I absolutely love this video from “Brittain’s Got Talent”. I am guessing you have seen it. It is very similar to the videos of Paul Potts and Susan Boyle. I find them incredibly uplifting and amazing!

To think these people were “sitting on the sideline” prior to getting their opportunity to sing amazes me. The world is a better place – and I believe God smiles – because they are using their gifts and abilities.

It makes me wonder how many others are “sitting on the sidelines”, refusing to use their talents that God had given them. There are obviously many reasons for this. Generally, I believe the reasons come from within (I am not good enough, I don’t look “right”, I can’t do that, etc…). Sometimes the reason is just a lack of opportunity. Sometimes people just don’t know how they have been gifted, they haven’t examined themselves.

I am not saying that we each have talents like the singers I mentioned above, talents that are up front and public. What I am saying is that we all have talents, gifts, abilities that God has given us. I believe when you use those talents, gifts and abilities, it makes God smile – regardless of how many people are impacted – even if it is just one.

What is it you do that when you are doing it, you feel it makes God smile?

 

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