Archive - August, 2011

A Hodgepodge of Thoughts …

August 31, 2011 in The Kitchen Table with 1 Comment

Some random thoughts over the past month…

  • We just completed the guardianship process so that Stacy and I can continue to make decisions for Sam since he has turned 18. I understand the importance of there being due process, but it seems like a lot of unnecessary steps in our case. Here’s the process. Stacy and I hire an attorney ($500 which I was assured was a bargain). The attorney files a petition with the court stating we are wanting to be Sam’s guardian. A court date is set, Sam is served papers saying such and he is appointed an attorney to represent him. Sam’s attorney meets with him (that was a joy!). He files his opinion to the court. The judge reviews the documents and since Sam’s attorney and our attorney agree that guardianship is necessary and that Stacy and I are suitable guardians, the judge issues an order making Stacy and I co-guardians of Sam – and cancels the hearing 15-20 minutes prior to the scheduled hearing. One of those things we never dreamt we’d have to do 18 years ago!
  • Football is truly the greatest sport in the world! High school football is underway, colleges start this Saturday and the NFL begins the following week. Stacy and I moved Bailey to the Cities for her final year at Bethel last Saturday. We were able to attend the Cowboys/Vikings pre-season game that evening. While I know pre-season football doesn’t really matter, it was fun to watch – and much cheaper than a regular season game!
  • Speaking of moving Bailey to college, it’s hard to believe she will be spending her last semester at Bethel. Bethel has been a big place in my life. I received my Masters of Divinity degree there over five years and have made several trips there while Bailey has been a student. I wonder how many times I will step foot on that campus after this December? Life does go on…
  • Moving children to college is never a fun experience. I am excited that Bailey and Shelby (Central College) have the opportunity to seek higher education, but it is sad to have them out of our house. We had a good four weeks (last two in July and first two in August) with everyone home in our house. It was a very good four weeks! These times with all in the house will be few and far between in the years ahead. Again, life goes on …
  • I have had a few people share with me the past few weeks that they feel very distant from God right now. I think this is a great realization and I admire the honesty of these people, but I always wonder what they are going to do to step closer to God.  For some, it is dealing with a sin issue. For others, they may need to take a spiritual retreat to recharge their batteries. For others, it may be spending some consistent time in the Bible and in prayer.
  • Jogging is hard – if it’s 3 miles, 5 miles or 9 miles. It never fails, when I get to the end of a run of any distance, I am ALWAYS happy to stop!
  • We drove across America in July to go to North Carolina. A couple years ago, we drove to California. We do live in a beautiful country. The creativity of God astounds me! Everyone should drive across our country at least once. It is a long ways and takes a lot of time, but it is worth it!
  • The Bachelor and now, Bachelor Pad may be the two worst shows in the history of tv. Seeking to manufacture love. How dumb is that?
  • You don’t realize how much you miss air conditioning until you go without it. Ours quit working and had to be replaced (and the furnace). Those days without in early August were miserable. Opting to borrow the money to get they replaced may be one of our best decisions of the year!
  • Relationships are messy (and I am not talking about relationships within my family).
  • HuHot is still my favorite restaurant.

OK, that’s probably enough for this now. Just some random things that have been bouncing around in my brain these past few weeks. Thanks for reading. I do appreciate it!

What’s been going on in your life?

Running and Walking

August 29, 2011 in Goals with 0 Comments

What is the farthest you have ever run? I set my own personal record for distance this past Friday by going nine miles. It sucked. Big time. The first six miles really was not that bad, but the last three … ugh! I ended up walking and jogging the last three.

That brings me to a question. If I had to jog/walk the last three, does it really count for me to say I jogged nine miles? Does someone have to jog or run the whole distance to count for that distance?

I will be doing the half-marathon in Des Moines on October 16. How much am I able to walk and still count it as completing a half-marathon? I admit that I struggle a little when it comes to the thought of walking. I have this notion that if I don’t run the whole thing, it won’t count. I am wondering what you guys think?

I read an article last week by Jeff Galloway. Galloway is a proponent of have scheduled walking breaks within your run. You can read his reasoning here. I don’t know what to think about this. I ran this morning using Galloway’s method. I jogged 3 minutes and then walked 1 minute. I only did this for three miles, so I don’t know that my results are accurate, but here is what I found out:

1. Running this way is still difficult
2. I ran harder when I ran than I normally do
3. My time for three miles was very close if not a little better than my normal running
4. One minute is NOT a very long time to walk and recover
5. Three minutes IS a long time running hard
6. It was still a very good workout

I am planning on doing my long run this week using this method. I may run for three minutes and walk for a minute and a half. If you are interested, I will let you know how it goes.

What are your thoughts on this “style” of running? What is the longest distance you have ever ran?

“I know better than God”

August 25, 2011 in Bible, Christian Living with 1 Comment

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Have you ever intentionally done something you knew God would not be happy with?

This is a question I have thought a lot about the past few weeks. I had a conversation with someone the past couple months where this individual states that they knew what God wanted them to do, but they were unwilling to do it. In fact, they were planning on doing the opposite and seek God’s forgiveness after the fact.

When I heard this, I was very surprised and even somewhat shocked. This is willful disobedience I thought. This is pretending that you are smarter than God, thinking you can pull something over on Him. I wasn’t sure what advice to give this individual other than to point out that I do believe God would forgive them, but that there would be consequences for their sin.

I thought of David. I have no doubt in my mind that David knew it was wrong to invite Bathsheba over to his home and to have sex with her. David choose to do wrong. I also have no doubt that David knew it was wrong to have Bathsheba’s husband (Uriah) placed in the frontline of a battle so that he would be killed. Again, David choose to do wrong. Was David forgiven of his sin? I believe so, without a doubt. Were there consequences to his sin? Yes, severe consequences. You can read 2 Samuel 11 & 12 to see the whole story.

As I have thought about this scenario of willful disobedience, it has really caused me to wonder how someone’s heart could become so callused that the desire for sin would outweigh their desire to serve and honor God. It’s pretty sad.

I then realized that I do the same thing almost daily – if not daily, then weekly. I make the decision to willfully disobey God whenever I speak harsh words to Stacy or my kids when I know I should hold my tongue. I disobey God when I choose to overeat or not treat my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit. I choose to disobey God when I place other things above Him (idolatry). Things like television, sports, other people, facebook, twitter, materialism, etc…

I truly believe that we as Christians are called by God to encourage each other to follow God. We are to challenge each other and exhort one another to live lives worthy of our calling. We are to come alongside brothers and sisters as they struggle. The one thing we are not to do is judge – and that is a hard thing not to do. Christians can be pretty good at judging one another. God makes it clear in Matthew 7 that we not to judge one another, not to look at the speck in your brothers eye while you have a plank in your own.

This is hard and is an easy line to cross. How do you encourage someone to live a life that honors God and that is free from sin – and yet not cross that line of judging?

There but by the grace of God go I.

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Back to School – a mixture of emotions

August 18, 2011 in Christian Living with 0 Comments

Today is the first day of school for Roland-Story, which means three of my kids are now in the friendly confines of our local high school. Josiah will be spending his first day as a Freshman, Charlsea as a Junior and Sam as a Senior. This day brings mixed emotions for me.

Typically my mantra throughout the summer months is, “Close the Pool, Back to School!” I truly think it is a good thing for kids to be in school and plus, when they are in school, I have less responsibility for their care and welfare! :-)

It is also a sad day. It is sad to have the kids gone more. We have had a few great weeks with all five of the kids at home. As I look to the future, I realize that those days are numbered. I am a realist and understand that kids growing up and leaving home is a part of life – and that it is how life should be. Still, it does make me a little sad.

The other hard thing about today is that this is the first day of Sam’s Senior year. In our world, the senior year of high school is a big deal. You are king of the hill, top dog, numero uno. It can also be a year of transitions – transitions from youth to adulthood, from living under the care and supervision of your parents to living somewhat on your own.

With this being Sam’s senior year, today I am reflecting on a lot of “what ifs”. What if Sam were “normal”? Who would be his friends? Would he like sports? He would be a senior on our football team, what would he be like as a player? What would he be like to actually have a conversation with him? Would he be passionate about his faith? Would he be in vocal music, band, theater? A lot of wondering what life would be like. This makes me sad and a little melancholy. Sometimes I can feel a little cheated.

I think this is a normal occurrence for parents with children with special needs. When milestones come, you compare your son or daughter to their peers and wonder. The senior year in high school is one of those milestones. The chasm between Sam and his classmates is great and growing more each year.

I am not looking for any sympathy in writing this. I am just sharing what I am feeling today. While the day can be sad, I do realize that I truly am blessed. I have a great wife and five great kids. I am thankful that God gave us Sam to raise. He has certainly added challenges, but he has given us tremendous blessings as well. It is times like this that make me depend on God more, to trust in His plan and in His love. To realize that we will spend much more time on the other side of eternity than we will on this side. That’s really the only way we can face challenges.

So, if you are friends of parents with special needs kids, realize that there are good days and bad days. Some days are smooth and some are rocky. Sometimes it is easy to have peace and hope for the future while other days bring fear, sadness and wonder. Some days God seems near and others He seems more distant. I know all parents experience these emotions, I just think parents with special needs kids experience them a little more often.

I do appreciate your reading this blog. Just giving you a glimpse into my world. I do appreciate your love and support.

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Shells, shells and more shells

August 15, 2011 in Christian Living with 1 Comment

I realize my blog posts have been sporadic at best lately. Summer tends to cause problems in the day-to-day routine (at least it did for me). We had six youth from Spain visit for a month, we vacationed to North Carolina, we started football, … free time was hard to find!

Through the generosity of some friends, our family spent a wonderful week in North Carolina, right on the beach. My parents and Stacy’s mother were able to join us, as was Bailey’s fiancé (Michael). We truly had a great time of relaxation and rest! I read two books while we were there – that’s my kind of vacation!

One of the highlights was walking up and down the beach looking for shells. It is amazing the number of shells that are washed up on the beach in North Carolina – all shapes, colors and sizes. It got as the week progressed, we became much more picky about the shells you would pick up. Shells that caught our attention on Monday didn’t garnish a second glance on Thursday. We were always looking for that “bigger and better” shell!

As I have thought about shells, I think there are a few things we can learn about life as well.

First, shells come in many shapes and sizes, just as we come in many shapes and sizes. Each shell serves a purpose and that purpose is based on the design of the shell. We are each here on earth with a God-given design to fulfill a purpose.

Second, life is hard sometimes. Looking at shells on the beach, you realize that each shell has been impacted by the waves and the sand. Some shells have been broken to pieces, some have small nicks or discolorations. Life has a tendency to do that to us as well. We are changed by the experiences in our life – both good and bad. For some, life has been difficult and hard. The waves have crushed some on the shore. This reminds me the importance of clinging to God to help through those difficult times.

Third, the mentality of always looking for that “bigger and better” shell. This is a natural tendency in our world and something that really can cause problems. We do this with relationships. Things that delighted us with someone early on in life can become boring and mundane as we go through time. I am sure there are things I loved about Stacy when we were dating (and she liked about me) that have become not only boring, but even possibly has become an irritant to each other.

The same goes for experiences as well. We can have a great experience and if that experience is repeated enough, it becomes dull and boring. We can have a great view and in time we will find ourselves not even noticing it, just taking it for granted. We can have a great job and our search for “bigger and better” can lead you to a point of unhappiness and discontentment.

I am rambling. Sorry. Just some thoughts about shells and life.