I found an interesting website a week ago. It is called “Reluctant Runners“. It’s byline describes me totally: “We love running, just not when we are doing it”! What a GREAT description!
I love to run. I enjoy reading about running. I have a couple books on running. I have subscribed to Runner’s World magazine in the past. I like to talk about running. I like to sit at my desk and think about going for a run. I go to bed thinking about getting up to run. I love running – except … when I actually run. When I run, I HATE it, I can’t stand it, I would do anything to stop it!
It always makes me chuckle when I read an article about running and it says that if you can’t speak comfortably when you are running, then you are going too fast. Good one. The fact is, for me, if my pace is anything faster than a slow walk, I can’t even talk – let alone speak comfortably. I am too busy trying to breathe.
I went out for a jog this past week and within a quarter mile of my house, I had thoughts of death. Seriously, I thought about death and what a reprieve it would be to stop the pain. I thought about this enough that I even wondered who would go out to camp (4 of my kids are at camp this week) and tell my children. What would their reaction be? How would it feel to be dead? What is Heaven really like? Who – besides my family – would really miss me? Not just say they did, but really miss me? Serious thoughts about death.
I have been out jogging once and I saw the ambulance out and about. I was sure it was for me. In fact, I was pretty disappointed when they drove past me. I could have cared less about who they were going to go help, I was sure it was me!
I have had people ask me if I experience that “runner’s high” when I jog. Man, I hope I haven’t. My concern is that I do experience it and that it still sucks that bad. I think this “runner’s high” is some concept that was dreamt up by a shoe company so they could sell running shoes. Kind of like Mother’s Day being invented by a greeting card company in order to sell more greeting cards.
As much as I hate actually running, I do love to run. Even writing this, I am picturing myself out pounding the pavement. I am thinking about the 1 or 2 actually pleasant jogs I had a few years back. The feeling of accomplishment, the feeling you get when you know you have pushed yourself to the limit. I love that feeling – when it is over!
So, I will keep dreaming about running. My bucket list will include completing a half-marathon and then hopefully a marathon. I have even read about those ultra-marathon people and wonder how it would be to run for 100 miles. It fascinates me. Keep in mind, the farthest I have ever run is 8 miles and that was about 3 miles too far.
I am seriously training for a half-marathon that will occur on October 16th. Hopefully the training will not just take place in my head! Why is it that things are so much easier in your head?
Unfortunately, this is true in a lot of areas in my life. Truth be known, I am a probably a better husband and father in my head than I actually am in real life. I pray better and study the Bible more in my head than I do in real life. I am a better golfer, football coach, … ugh … man how I hate realizations like this!
Want to jog with me in the morning? It sounds like a great idea right now, doesn’t it!