Archive - March, 2011

Your Checkbook and Scale – Yikes!

March 30, 2011 in Christian Living, Goals with 0 Comments

Ever wonder why we are such private people? For the most part, we go through life alone – or at most we are only willing to share deep intimate things with our immediate family. Why do you suppose that is? I think when it comes down to it, it is pride – or a fear of looking stupid – which is really pride as well.

I was jogging this morning and in between trying to catch my breath and keeping my feet moving, I was thinking about a couple areas in my life that are my major struggles – my weight and my finances. These are perhaps the two areas in most of our lives that we are also most unwilling to share details about with others.

When’s the last time you pulled out your scale and said to a friend, “Look at what I weigh!” When was the last time you put together all your financial documents and sat down with someone (other than a financial planner) and said, “Look how I am doing financially! Look where I am spending my money!” I am guessing the only time you weigh in front of someone is at the doctor’s office and you only do that because you have to. Likewise the only time you share your financial stuff is at your yearly tax appointment – and then you are probably apologetic in your lack of savings or charitable donations, etc…

When it comes right down to it, I would argue that your health and your finances are two of the more important areas of your life. If you throw out your relationship with Christ and with others, I would argue health and finances are next – and that these two areas can adversely affect all your relationships – with God and others.

We have made some poor financial decisions the past year, resulting in us owing a pretty decent tax obligation and looking towards some financial obligations that will be a challenge for us to meet the next couple years. Not a big deal in the day-to-day stuff – just those out of the ordinary things that should be planned for that there never seems to be enough money to plan for so you don’t, that type of stuff. You know what I mean.

What Stacy and I need to do is sit down and work through a plan. We have used a budget for our typical monthly expenses for quite awhile, but  as I said we need to figure out the non-monthly stuff. Once we have this plan together, I wonder if accountability and encouragement in following this plan needs to be expanded beyond just Stacy and me. Do I need to be willing to share my financial nuts and bolts with others on a regular basis? Just typing this makes me cringe.

In regards to weight loss, I also need to develop a plan. I wonder if I need to share this plan with others – beyond just Stacy (if I get brave enough to even share that with her). Again, the thought of this makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

As followers of Jesus, we are called to go through life together. Finances and health issues are certainly a major part of this life. How much should we be willing to share with others? How much are you willing to share with others? I haven’t decided on the right answer yet for myself. Let me know when you figure it out!

 

Lessons from Sam – Flexibility

March 28, 2011 in Lessons from Sam with 0 Comments

Having a special needs child, one never knows what to expect. This requires us to be flexible and ready to have plans change at a moment’s notice.

Two summers ago, our family traveled to California – all seven of us. It was a great trip – with LOTS of driving! We saw several things and had a very good time. There were a couple times on the trip that didn’t quite go as we had planned – causing us to have some flexibility.

We stopped by the Grand Canyon on our way to California. If you haven’t been there, I would recommend it – although it looks remarkably like the pictures you see on the internet – or in books. It is a very large canyon – hence the name “Grand”. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend hiking to the bottom of the thing though. I am guessing once you got down, you would regret the decision as then you would have to climb back up. Anyway, I digress…

We found a parking spot – no easy feat – and proceeded to get out of the vehicle. I don’t know if Sam thought we were going to take him to the bottom of the canyon or what, but he freaked out, refusing to get out of the car and just screaming. Now, mind you, Sam was 15 years old and his screams are ear-drum piercing, jet-engine roaring screams – which caused everyone within three miles to look directly at our vehicle in the “what are you doing to that kid?” type of look. Needless to say, our whole family did not get to see the Grand Canyon as one group. I stayed with Sam in the car and then Stacy came back so I could peer to the bottom. We did eventually coax Sam into a wheel chair so we could take him closer to the canyon, but the moment just wasn’t what we had hoped when we made the Grand Canyon one of our vacation destinations!

Another destination that didn’t work out quite like we had planned was Hearst Castle. We were staying in the Paso Robles area of California (Central Coast) and made a trek to see Hearst Castle. This really is quite a place and is supposedly one of the most popular vacation spots in California. It is truly a castle Mr. Hearst built to entertain himself and his friends.

We arrived at the welcome center and then got in line to take a bus up the hill to see the castle and all the stuff around the castle. We had planned for Stacy and four of the kids to ride the bus with everyone else and Sam and I would take a handicapped bus and meet on the top. We had borrowed a wheel chair to make things like this easier, so I took Sam out the door in the wheel chair and headed towards our bus. As we got near the bus and started moving his chair towards the platform, Sam went nutso. He wanted nothing to do with getting on that bus – at least that’s what I thought he was conveying through his screaming. So, while Stacy and the kids did the two-hour tour of Hearst Castle, Sam and I sat in the welcome center sharing a $12.00 hamburger and fries. I think more than once during this time I told him that this was his last vacation with me – either he would go and I would stay home or I would go and he would stay home – I had no intention of the both of us going anywhere together again ever!

As I think about this, I have realized that we have just learned to be a little more flexible with life due to Sam. If Sam goes with us to the store, we are prepared to either have one of us stay in the car with him – or if he agrees to come into the store with us, then we are prepared to be ready to leave if necessary or to stop and sit or whatever. If you are sitting there finding yourself thinking, “Why don’t Matt and Stacy just make him go in and behave?” then you really don’t have a clue what it is like. We can MAKE our other kids do things, Sam, not so much. We can reason and talk our other kids into doing things, Sam, not so much. There is very little we can “make” Sam do – and as he gets older and bigger, that list gets shorter and shorter. Flexibility is where it is at!
In some ways, I wonder how God looks at each one of us. I am guessing we are all like special needs kids in God’s eyes. We complain and gripe and don’t always do what we are supposed to do. We refuse to obey, we aren’t always thankful, we need lots of attention and care – and yet, God still loves us wholeheartedly, unconditionally – just like we love Sam wholeheartedly, unconditionally. I don’t know that I can say that God is flexible with us, but he is patient with us and loves us far beyond what we deserve.

In what ways have you grown to be more flexible or patient in life?

I have been changed – for good!

March 25, 2011 in Christian Living with 2 Comments


I really am not a big fan of musicals. In fact, typically I find them rather boring and a waste of time. That’s MY opinion – you don’t need to post telling me all about the virtues of musicals. Really how often in life are you walking around doing something normal – like grocery shopping say – and burst into song? Never – ok – hardly ever. In musicals, that happens all the time. Not necessarily in grocery stores, but it would if grocery stores were in musicals.

I have been to several musicals through the years – heck, I was in four while I was in high school –I probably wore tights in all four (another problem with musicals!) – and I have seen my daughters in several as well. In all the musicals I have seen, really, there are only two that I have attended and wholeheartedly enjoyed. I loved “Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat”. The story and songs are fantastic! The other musical I very much enjoyed was “Wicked”. Wicked is a parallel story to “The Wizard of Oz” from the perspective of the witches. It tells the story of Glinda (The Good Witch of the North) and her interactions with Elphaba (The Wicked Witch of the West). It really is a fun story and I would recommend you see it if you get the chance.

My favorite part of the musical is towards the end when Elphaba and Glinda sing the song “For Good”. This song tells of the interaction each has had on the other. The line that really hits home to me is, “Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” Now there are two ways you can take the meaning of the word “good” here. It can mean they have been changed in a positive sense, “I have been changed in a positive manner because of knowing you.” It could also mean that they have been changed forever – in a positive or negative manner – “I am different because I have known you. You have changed me for good.”

As you think about it, that is how it is in each of our relationships with other people. There is no doubt we make a difference in the lives of others – and this difference can be good –or not so good. But in either case, if we spend much time with anyone, a difference one way or the other will be made.

This has caused me to wonder what impact I am having on people. Am I making a positive impact in the lives of others? When I die and people come to my funeral, will they say, “Because I knew Matt, my life has been changed in a good way.” I pray that I am impacting several people in this manner. I know not everyone, as I can think of some who might show up just to make sure that casket gets in the ground!

It has also caused me to think about – and be thankful for – those who have made a positive impact in my life – people who have changed me because I knew them. I am blessed to have several people come to mind. Some have been from long-term relationships, others have been just for a season or stage of life. In either case, people have made a difference in my life.

I guess my question today is, “Are you building into the lives of others so that they are changed in a positive manner? Also, are you allowing others to be a part of your life?”

I’m in a bad mood…

March 23, 2011 in Christian Living with 5 Comments

I am in a bad mood today. Actually it hasn’t been all day, just the last couple hours or so. Little things are annoying me – an email where I felt ignored or misunderstood, someone who hasn’t responded to me like I want, a facebook exchange where I was accused of being argumentative (when clearly the other person was the one arguing!), someone else wanting me to do something I am not excited about – just a bunch of little things getting under my skin this afternoon.

I am sitting around thinking, “Why am I irritated about this stuff? Why is it bothering me?” A couple things come to mind initially. I want to eat anything and everything, but haven’t. I have a headache. I have a lot of stuff that needs to get done today. But, really, as I think about it, it comes down to selfishness. I want what I want, I want it now and today I am irritated that I am not getting it.

Why am I so selfish? Why do I get mad when things don’t go as I expect them to or want them to? A couple years ago a friend told me that I am needy and put too many expectations on people. Why do I do that? Why do I think it is all about me? I seriously think I have improved a lot in this area, but obviously still have room to grow.

More importantly than thinking why I am in a foul mood, I have started wondering how I can get out of this funk and not let it affect the rest of my day. Eating might be the quick answer, but that won’t help long-term. Rats! Going home irritated and being grouchy around Stacy and the kids certainly isn’t the answer. I think the best way to overcome this is to get my eyes off myself and onto someone else. Since I am stuck in the office and can’t go meet with someone, I am choosing to spend some time in worship, right here at my desk. I have watched this video below – “The Prayer” sung by Celine Dion and Josh Groban at least 7 times straight. I plan to watch some Chris Tomlin and Needtobreathe next.  I am praying that getting my eyes on Jesus will change my attitude.

What do you do to get out of a funky mood?


 

Pushing the Re-Set Button!

March 21, 2011 in Christian Living, Goals with 0 Comments

Today is start-over day number 18,457. The day to start back on the road to health, getting back on my eating plan through Take Shape for Life and getting more exercise. I really haven’t made any progress since the beginning of the year. I bounce around up 2 pounds, down 2, up 2, … I have been just playing around at it. Eating great one day then eating like a pig the next. It’s time to make a change.

I know many of you are reading this and thinking, “Yeah, right. I’ve heard this before.” Sadly, that is true. I have started over 18,547 times. It is easy for me to focus on those “failures” of my past and think that I shouldn’t even bother to try. I’ve failed before – several times – in all likelihood I will fail again. It is pretty easy to get discouraged if I keep looking back.

The other thing that is hard for me to do is looking at the amount of weight I would like to lose. I really want to lose around 70 pounds. That’s a big number and a tad overwhelming. This isn’t going to be some three week thing – or even a three month thing. It is going to take some serious time. This gets overwhelming to me. Thinking, “I have to do this for 10 months” gets hard as well.

So, what can I do? The only thing I can do is to focus on today. Then tomorrow, focus on tomorrow. Taking it one day at a time is truly my only option. And, I may even need to break this down into smaller increments than this. Maybe it needs to be hourly. Can I be obedient this hour?

I read an interview once about a family with a severely disabled child. This child needed total care. They asked the father how he could care for this child year in and year out and look towards the future of this continuing. The father replied that he couldn’t look towards the next three years and care for his child, but he could do it today. And then tomorrow he hoped he could do it that day. Taking it one day at a time was the only way he could face his challenging situation.

This is really the only way any of us can face a challenging situation – day-by-day surrendering to God, asking for his help and guidance – focusing on the present, making good choices now.

The thing is, while I would like to beat myself up for all my failures in my past, I can’t do anything about that right now. I am where I am, the good, bad and ugly. Also, the only way I can change the future is by making a lot of good choices today. There’s a reason God challenges us in Matthew 6 to not worry about tomorrow and to focus on today.

We all have struggles. Maybe yours isn’t food. Maybe it’s drugs or alcohol. Maybe it’s a difficult relationship. Maybe it is some health issue or financial thing. Maybe it’s pornography or gambling or being unfaithful to your spouse. Maybe your job sucks. Maybe yours is trying to live out your faith, but you keep falling short, you keep messing up. Again, we can’t go back and change the past. We can offer forgiveness for how we have wronged others and we can forgive others for times we’ve been wronged, but you truly can’t go back and undo poor decisions. You can look ahead and look three months down the road or three years or 30 years and think about how your life will be different. BUT, the only way it will be different is by making good decisions on a daily basis.  The path you are on today determines your destination.

What is it you are struggling with? I hope you have a plan and people to help you through whatever it is. Please know that I am cheering for you and would love to help in any way possible. I hope you will be cheering for me as well!

 

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