Archive - February, 2011

Your Obituary

February 28, 2011 in The Kitchen Table with 0 Comments

How would you summarize your life in roughly 500 words or less? How could you work in the important events, the important people, your passions, your priorities, etc…? Hundreds of people write these stories about others every single day, we call them obituaries.

An obituary is typically a notice of death with a short biography summarizing the life of the deceased. Oftentimes, these stories are written before the death to assist the surviving family when that death occurs. I believe that writing your own obituary can also serve other important purposes that I will describe later.

I am leading a group of just under 30 people through a four-session seminar I put together called “Living with the End in Mind”. You can find more information about it here. Last night we finished session three. The homework for each person prior to session three was for each attendee to write their own obituary – a summary of their life to that point. We read some of them last night and will read the remainder during our next session.

It is really a challenge to write your own obituary. You want to include important events and people. You also want to work in groups that you belonged to and things that were important in your life. As a follower of Christ, I also believe your faith should be part of your obituary – when you placed your faith in Christ and how you sought to live out that faith.

I have people write their obituary for three reasons. First, it will be helpful to the family when a person does die. In my life as a funeral director, you would be amazed how often a family came in that had no clue when Mom and Dad were married or when they moved to Iowa or what organizations Dad belonged to. A pre-written obituary helps in this regard. Secondly, writing your obituary makes a person acknowledge their own mortality that someday this obituary will be needed. Thirdly, since the obituary is a summary of a person’s life to that point and with the realization that there will be a day when the obituary is needed – when it will “go to press” and be published in the newspaper, it can cause a person to take a good look at their life and really think about what they would like to accomplish prior to that day when this document is finalized.

I wrote my obituary – in fact, you can read it here if you would like. I wonder how this will change between now and the day that I die. I know I can’t control the day I die, but I can control how I live my life between now and that day. I can make daily decisions on how to more effectively live out my faith. I can make decisions on places I want to visit, things I want to do, people I want to impact, priorities I want to live out. I can really start to “live with the end in mind.”

Have you contemplated your death and what you hope to accomplish before the day when your obituary is needed? Are you living with your end in mind?

A Cold Sore – Oh My!

February 26, 2011 in Christian Living with 0 Comments

Right now, I have the first cold sore of my life. I have no idea why now, after 45 years I have a blemish the size of Texas on my lower lip. Just lucky I guess. I look in a mirror and my eyes are drawn to it. I visit with someone and I can see them staring at it – it is similar to Steve Martin’s nose in the movie Roxanne!

It has caused me to wonder why we can be so focused on blemishes or weaknesses in our lives. It seems the areas we struggle with or areas that we frankly aren’t very good at draw an awful lot of our attention. My cold sore probably covers well under 1% of my face – and yet that is what I am thinking about and that’s what I look at when I look in a mirror!

I can play a round of golf and hit 10 good shots, but it’s the two-foot putt that I missed that I remember. It’s the interception or fumble in a football game, it’s the missed free throw in a basketball game, that dumb thing we said to our friend, that typo in that report or paper, the “could haves”, “would haves” and “should haves” that haunt us. Why is that? My job description covers several areas, but it is usually the area that I struggle with the most that tends to make me think how I am doing in performing my job.

The Bible says that each one of us was created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27) and that we were knit together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).  This means that God made us, as we are, with our strengths and weaknesses. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t seek to improve ourselves and work on our weak areas, but I don’t think we should allow these areas to define us. Our weaknesses make us who we are just as much as our strengths. They are all part of the mosaic that makes up each one of us. The weak areas are what make us trust and rely on God in a deeper way.

The next time I look in a mirror, I am going to focus on my beautiful nose and not that blasted cold sore. What are you going to focus on the next time you look in a mirror?

It Makes Me Wonder …

February 23, 2011 in Christian Living with 0 Comments

I read a quote in a book yesterday that has really made me think. Isn’t that really the great thing about books? How they make you think and wonder and cause you to look at your life and contemplate changes.

The quote/question was, “If your life has two parts, the earthly part (that lasts about seventy or eighty years) and an eternity part (that lasts forever), which part should have the greatest influence on how you live? How should that eternity part influence the earthly part? (One.Life by Scot McKnight, Zondervan, 2010)” I guess this has caused me to ponder that if I believe in an eternity (which I do), how am I living preparing for eternity?

This question by McKnight should cause all of us to think. First, do I believe there will be an eternity? If so, what will it take to get there? What will it be like?

I am certain there are many views on these questions. The important thing is to ask yourself, “Why do I believe what I believe?” On what basis are you answering these questions? Are you answering because of what you want or feel – or is there something else behind what you think? I truly believe these questions about eternity are something everyone should investigate.

If you are interested in what I believe, you can listen to a sermon I gave on January 30th entitled “The End“. In fact, I would challenge you to listen to the entire series “Living with the End in Mind”. It’s only four parts. You can find it here.

What do you believe about what will happen at the end of our lives? Why do you believe what you believe?

Lessons from Sam – Joy

February 21, 2011 in Christian Living, Lessons from Sam with 2 Comments

Having a child with special needs can bring about a lot of challenges. Haircuts are a major undertaking. Constant care and supervision are required. New environments are hard. Change is very difficult. If you want to really experience it, join us for a doctor’s appointment or even harder, a visit to the dentist! While Sam has brought several challenges to our life, another thing he has brought us in abundance is joy!

The most typical way we see this joy is played out in every day life.

  • When Sam sleeps in like a normal teenager – this past Saturday he slept until 8:30 – amazing!
  • When Sam greets people in public.
  • When Sam shows us what he wants.
  • When Sam comes and sits down by us on the couch.
  • When Sam volunteers to go with us on a trip to Ames.
  • When Sam goes into a store without complaining.
  • When Sam comes up to us and gives a hug.
  • When Sam opens a gift that he likes – you wouldn’t believe his expression!
  • When Sam tries – and likes – food he hasn’t had before.
  • When Sam attended the Sweetheart Ball when he was a Freshman – he vehemently refused as a Sophomore!
  • When Sam goes swimming or bowling.
  • When Sam sings along with his dvd in the other room.
  • When Sam interacts with his sisters or brother.
  • When Sam willingly gives his grandmas or grandpa a hug.
  • When Sam’s peers interact with him – this is great joy!
  • When Sam goes to the bathroom without our prompting him.
  • When Sam dances!

Having a child with special needs is challenging – more than you will ever know. But there is much joy amongst the challenge as well. We are thankful to God that he brought Sam into our life – for both the joys and the challenges!

What are you joyful for?

Pizza and Questions

February 19, 2011 in Christian Living with 2 Comments

Last Saturday evening, Stacy and I enjoyed pizza at Punch Neapolitan Pizza in Saint Paul, MN. Punch specializes in Mediterranean style pizza. If you haven’t had it before, I would recommend you give it a try sometime. It was very good.

We sat next to a couple from the Twin Cities who appeared to be in their early 60s. We exchanged some small talk with them about the amount of snow they had this winter, the unseasonably warm day, what they thought of the restaurant, etc… normal chit chat. I then asked the husband (we never exchanged names) what he did for a living. He works as a computer programmer for a company in the Cities. I am typically a pretty curious person, so I asked if he actually wrote programs or if he worked in some other sector of his company. He told us that he actually wrote code and has been in programming for 35 years! We spent the next 20 minutes discussing the amount of change he has seen in his profession throughout his career – from punch cards to computer languages (Pascal, Cobol, etc…) to the present day html and java-script applications. It was really rather fascinating.

I found a couple things really interesting in reflecting on this interaction – and I think this is somewhat typical of most interactions. One, it was neat to see how much this man enjoyed sharing about his life. He was happy to share about what was going on, about how much his job has changed through the years, what he enjoyed and what he did not like so much. Basically, people really enjoy talking about themselves!

The other thing I found interesting was how one-sided this conversation was. All I did was ask a few questions and sit back and listen, ask another question and then listen some more. People have told me before that they struggle to find things to talk about when they meet a stranger. Truly, all you really need to do is ask a few open ended questions and allow the person to talk.

Some examples: “What do you do?” “What do you like/dislike about it?” “Tell me about your family”. “Where did you grow up at?” “What did you like about that area?” Obviously, the list is endless. Use “Tell me more…” or “What else?” to have people expound.

The key to this is that you really must care what other people have to say. This is hard. Generally I find that most people don’t care to get to know others. It always amazes me how rarely people ever ask a question back to me about my life.

I believe we are called to show an interest in others. I know I don’t always live this out. I am certainly trying to be more intentional in this. How about you? Do you show an interest in others?

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